I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm just crazy horny about you
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
