I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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