I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
