Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
