My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
