I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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