Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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