So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
