Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
