dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
