Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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