my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
