Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Randomize
