I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
