i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
