you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
