the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
