its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
