...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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