I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
