She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
