I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
