you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
