yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
