and you said cock pushups were impossible
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
