DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
