I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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