just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Randomize
