hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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