I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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