Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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