They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
