I wannas sexs uuuuu
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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