how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
