Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
