Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Someone stole a lamp last night.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
