People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
