Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
