I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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