her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
