love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
