marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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