I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
