I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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