this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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