yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
