if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
her facebook's as public as her vagina
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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