I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
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