he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
