I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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