Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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